When it rains.... it pours..... (Personal Post)

Monday, September 21, 2009

(2) Comments

There is an old saying that goes something like this... "When it rains, it pours" Brother thats the truth! Just a little about me for those who dont know me. I am a 41 year old widowed mother of a handicapped child. Bob (my son) has Cerebral Palsy and is in a wheel chair. My husband of 13 years died on me in Nov of 2003. He was the one who stayed home with the boy while I worked. Until the day he just died without warning. (He had just got a script from his doctor for VIAGRA. a week later he was dead. You see VIAGRA speeds up your heart and blood flow to your private parts to make it work. It didnt do the fun part. he had a heart condition that no one knew of and the speeding blood was too much for his heart and it exploded. His heart that is.) Too bad all the records just vanished or I would have one hell of a law suit. Either way I had to stop working and stay home with my son.

Thats been about 5 years now. I thought I was starting to get somewhere in life, was given a car and freedom with that said car. It was a wonderful thing. Now even that is gone. Last month I had to replace the battery and the starter. But last Monday my transmission went out. No one seems to understand what that means for me. It means Im back in my own hell. No way to go to the store or doctors appointments, no freedom. I dont have the money to fix it and because bob gets SSI I have no way to make any money without hurting him or his check. (Bobs 18 now but still at home with me) Its like im between a rock and a hard place. I just feel as if I am at the end of my rope. Sometimes I get so depressed I feel everyone would be better off with out me around.

This sh*t is had to do when your alone. Its harder and harder and sometimes I just want to walk away from it all, but I would never do that to bob because I am all he has. You see when you are in the spot I am in your friends seem to vanish. I have 2 real world friends and I use them way too much already. I have hundreds and hundreds of online friends all over the world but thats not the same as someone sitting here with me over coffee.

Oh.... I should shut up but I needed to get that off my chest.

Thank you for listening

Lady Shannon


2 Responses to "When it rains.... it pours..... (Personal Post)"

suruha said :
9/24/09, 3:55 AM
Aww, sweetie! You deserve to unload! My goodness! I don't know where you live, but, here, there are several programs designed just for people like you, and me. One, The Dignity Project, takes run-down beater cars, employs the handicapped do the repairs, then, they sell it for funds.

The United Way, since they cover most of the other charities, might be able to tell you about an agency that could help you.

I get Social Security and I am allowed to work up to a point. I don't, because I am disabled, but, it is done. Re-check your information, please. I think I can earn up to $500.00 a month without endangering it.

If all else fails, and you just want to throw it all in, e-mail me @:


I am always available and I have been sort of in your shoes. I tried to end it, though. I failed. My children intervened and put me in the hospital. Not fun! But, it was a good thing. I was meant to be here, I guess.

Here's an online hug for you - {X}

Take care of you.

Anisah said :
1/28/10, 1:19 PM
Wow, I'm so sorry about what you are going through. You are so generous, offering so many designs on your blog, you deserve not to have to worry about day-to-day living!

Your son's insurance company might provide transportation to medical appointments for him. If he's on Medicaid, it should. It does here in Michigan.

You might find an agency that can help you get a car. I was a similar position when I moved to Michigan, I had no car and I was a single mom of us kids. I still am a single mom of 3 kids, but I have a car that someone helped me get. If you ever have any small, one time needs, you can apply at www.ModestNeeds.org. They helped me pay for a window for my car when someone broke it.

I hope things are looking up at least a bit for you.



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