Well I sit here in shock.... I just cant believe that they will just let me die. "Sorry" they tell me over the phone. Unless you want to apply for SSI there is no health program that you can join to help you.......

"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"

There is nothing out there to help me? A stay at home mom of a grown up child in a wheel chair with CP. No program to help keep me alive to continue to care for my son. No way for me to get the heart meds that keep me from having another heart attach? No way to get my Insulin? NOTHING! I just cant believe this shit! Oh yea Mr Prez is going to make sure we have med coverage. Yea right... that does not include people like me. We cost them money I guess. I asked nothing of government, I never asked for cash money to help me and my son just get thru the day.... nope. I just wanted the medical coverage so I could continue to care for my child. I know I wont die tomorrow, but without these meds I'm sure I will. At least that's what they have told me.

What really sux tho is that if and when I do die no one wants to take my son. Where will he go? To some nursing home where they will leave him alone in a soiled pull up. Where he will be hit when he is in a bad mood.... That idea hurts more then the death part. Leaving bobby along and unprotected breaks my heart and makes me think really bad thoughts.

I guess its time for me to get all my ducks in a row. Take care of everything before its to late. Cant believe I am saying these things and I am only 41 years old.

(I AM NOT ASKING YOU FOR ANY KIND OF MONEY - JUST RANTING)